The Woman Who Sold Stillness [chapter 4]
Very differently from her mother, Lilly’s father encouraged her to deal with the fact that she wasn’t like everyone else. He couldn’t believe her mother never told him anything, even though they were very distant from each other, but he felt it was wrong to go on pretending there was nothing to be concerned about.
Lilly took her father’s advice and tried not to feel scared of the things she could do. She didn’t want to go back to school, so her father suggested she get a job at some place where she would have to communicate with different people everyday.
She worked at a convenience store for 2 months and quit, without ever telling her boss the real reason. Then she tried working as a waitress and got fired after 3 months, for being too immature when dealing with client’s complaints.
One day she went to her father’s studio, where he worked as a photographer, and she saw him taking pictures of woman for a fashion magazine. She couldn’t help but notice how hard it was for him to manage a shooting session all by himself so, at the end of the day, she asked him if she could work there as his assistant.
He thought about it for a couple of days and eventually said yes, but made it very clear that he was going to pay her as a regular employee and he expected a high level of professionalism and dedication on her part.
Lilly didn’t know exactly what she was getting into, and it was not easy for her to handle the pressure of working with her father. He was intentionally testing her strength, day after day, being strict and demanding, not holding back with criticism and not favoring her in any way.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t ready for that kind of treatment, and he failed to notice that his behaviour at work was affecting the good relationship he had with his daughter at home. And when she told him she wanted to quit, after 8 months of hard work, he didn’t take it well. He got mad at her and said she would never be able to live by herself unless she stopped being selfish and spoiled. They were having breakfast at the moment, and she threw her coffee mug on the floor, which scared both her father and Gulliver, her cat.
She looked at her father with wet eyes and began to understand why her mother hid so many things from her about their relationship. Very calmly, her father stood up and told her to clean up the mess on the floor. He said he was already late for work and, since she wasn’t going to assist him anymore, he would not leave the studio early that day.
He left, and Lilly started crying. She was angry and frustrated with the situation, and all she could think about is how badly she wanted her mother to be there and comfort her.
After hours of thinking, she made up her mind and started writing a letter to her father, telling that she wanted to scream at him, and explaining why she just threw that coffee mug on the floor instead. She was afraid that if she focused all her anger on him, he could be trapped in her stillness, and as much as she hated him on that moment, she decided to control herself.
Her father came home from work and saw the letter on the table. He noticed that the shattered coffee mug was still on the floor, and nothing had been cleaned up. He shouted Lilly’s name a couple of times, but she didn’t answer. He looked for Gulliver, but didn’t find him anywhere. After reading her daughter’s letter, he realized Lilly was not coming back anymore.
